ghosting

i want to wait 4 days before i do it because i seem to feel needy.
but then i give up. i want to right now. i want to break up these weeks of not being able to talk or see. but the rules state i need to back off.
the past states i should back off. maybe. does it? i don't even know.

things are blooming. my life is doing something different and i actually like it.
i love this. i feel great. i miss vancouver and the coast and the jagged pointy rocks in the ocean. i miss glass beaches and bays where i read my books in the sunlight.

i want to run away with you so we can hold hands and kick into the surf like they do in movies. but since i can't, i keep smiling in my bed with douglas coupland and the fantasies that happen between chapters.

i found out another secret, you were caught and i keep smiling. i don't know what i'm doing, but i like it. i like everything.

and this is why i have decided to leave your house and home unhaunted, you don't need poltergeists for side kicks. you don't need treats and you don't need tricks.

i am desperately in love with the world right now.