behead this woman, she's a hurricane.

she's tapping her toes and you can feel it in your fingertips.
her skin looks soft and you want to let her know that.
the wind blew the patio furniture down the alley and the neighbours thought it was a gift.
you put "heavier patio furniture" on your list of things to buy in the spring.

she spends all your money in malls, trying on clothes she thinks you'd like to see her in. you tell her consistently that she looks better naked in bed by your side. you think you could love her, if only she learnt how to sit still. she never sits still, you don't think she knows how.

she plays you notes out of chords on a dusty guitar.
you pretend to play trumpet and purse your lips as tight as possible for the high notes.
she turns off the television so that there is nothing but silence and the steady beating of hearts. you've always liked when she did this. and tonight is no different.

the wind blows outside and you picture your neighbour placing the white plastic mounds in his yard beside the potted plants and the swimming pool which leaks air. he's starting the barbecue to cook chicken nuggets.

she loves you, yea yea yea is playing on the radio in the morning as she untangles from your body to sashay into the bathroom before you can see her. unadulterated. pure. fully.

secretly she likes when you stare. she will never let you know this.

who needs love when the sandwiches are wicked and they know you at the macs store?

so i tried snowboarding for the first time last night.
i'm pretty much incapable of turning on my heel edge, carving or getting up the non bitch way, but i like to get low on a board and fly down a hill at high speeds only to get half way back up the hill on the toe rope while a little girl 1/4 my size on skis gets right to the top every time.

i'm so sore today. i also hit my head kind of hard yesterday (i had a helmet though. safety first) and i think it made me a big baby. my room is a total mess, my body feels 96 and all i want to do is lay in bed and fall asleep to BBC 4 documentaries about higgs molecules and antimatter.

however, i made jello to take to work with me today. it's flavored like marguritas.

i am burnt out from school. this whole year is just tiring me out.
i started saving chump change for a trip to vancouver this summer.
eventually my room will be so clean and devoid of things i don't need that it can't be messy ever.
i am coming down with a cold.
just for laughs show on the 30th, looking forward to it.
when is reading week again?

but i know you mean "if you feel like dancing, dance with me"

for the time being, i will be danceless.
but that's ok. end of an era.
we had a great run and a good send off. well, if we ignore the violence, the idiots and the fatigue.
i loved it. i love you guys.
and i love this dumb feeling i get. the stupid smile. the girly thrill in the v of my ribs.
but i don't like the rush of skepticism i get afterwards.

i should have done it. i mulligan'd it in my dreams though. and it was amazing and everything i wanted it to be. then there was a high 5 which made it even more awesome.

it was nice. and i love my friends. we're good people.

and the man in the middle seat recites his timetables audibly... but i know he means "if you feel like dancing..... dance with me"

down in albion.

hours in total:

being awesome and social: 2 hours.
almost falling asleep: 1.5 hours
pretending to sleep: 3 hours
actually sleeping: 5 hours
eating pancakes and watching back to the future 2 (also, laughing): 0.02 hours.
assembling ikea furniture (upside down and wrong): 0.4 hours
cleaning room: 2 hours
re-alphabetizing books: 0.3 hours
dusting: 0.1 hours.
playing fable II and generally being useless: 9 hours.

success. new years day remained a "hi, i'm lazy as fuck" day!
maybe tomorrow i'll shower and do something. maybe.