More Women's Studies Random Thoughts:

• Am I just naive? I have a large problem with theories like compulsory heterosexuality. Granted it's just a theory, the idea that society has constructed us to be heterosexual is just ridiculous in my opinion. I think people are attracted to whom they are attracted to due to biological determinism. I don't think I was socially constructed to like guys. I think I was born and I basically am attracted to guys because sex is good and I "love the cock". However, I think my attraction to girls may be genuine admiration or jealousy because they have a kick ass body or they are beautiful or I want to look like them. Plus, I just might be hyper sexual, which is a hilarious thought due to my lack of sex drive lately.

• Also, with the whole debate of my sexuality lately, I think my problem may stem from the fact that I am really unsure about relationships due to the fact that on my behalf or my prospective partner's behalf, I am constantly disappointed. Due to this inhibition of my relationships and fear of starting some new relationship where heartbreak is only t-x hours /days/months away, I have become afraid of sex. I am never really this sexual restrained but something happened to me over the past 6 months where I began to withdraw. I think my cure to this problem may be to meet people whom I am only mildly attracted to and have the whole "ok, sure" attitude. This however, has its potential for disaster as I get attached to people easily and when I get attached, I inevitably get depressed due to.... disappointment!

• The heterosexual matrix, is something I can actually wrap my head around. Socially speaking, GENDER, not heterosexuality, is enforced on us before we can comprehend it. Pink clothing for baby girls, blue clothing for baby boys, barbies, monster trucks, dresses, overhauls.... etc. However, saying that heterosexuality is enforced through societal conditioning is ridiculous. You can't train someone to be homosexual. If I was to have a child and only surround him or her with queer ideology or constantly point out members of the same sex in positive light while demonizing those of the opposite sex, I could not train my child to be homosexual.
  

I don't know. This class really just gets me slightly riled up. I'm also pretty positive that it's not the riling up that I suspect will get me a decent mark for being complacent. But then again, I could easily just be naive in thinking that free will and choices of the people to be who they are/ choose who they are are not just idealistic thinking. I should study existentialism.