it's a motherfucker.

i have high hopes for myself this year at school:

day one:

i go to film studies class. awesome. fantastic. during our "warhol week" we watch a 35 minute film of a guy's face while he's getting a blow job. yes, this is my university education.

i make a total awkward ass out of myself during my spare, which i thought was theatre history. alex tells me i have an hour. i feel embarrassed stressing for no reason. long story, short.

during spare, i venture out to the club fair in quad. on my way i get centennial birthday cake. happy birthday u of a! i get to quad, sign up for musicians club, pay my dues and play some guitar with a few people. ya. i'm a musician. i wander around and end up signing up for the gateway, i think i'm going to try and write an opinion piece or something. i also want to volunteer as an in-school mentor for the big brothers, big sisters. i also ended up meeting some neat people.

i go to theatre history. it's theatre history without cookie wednesdays. i know, right? let's carry on.

spare. pasta and buns and reading.

community based theatre was kind of cool, a lot of work (i have so many papers due this semester, including a 15 page research paper for FS). i met a nice guy who walked me to the train. we talked about not so interesting things, like mumps needles and school.

i get home, am exhausted but smiling because my day is going great so far.

tyler and karyn come over for supper, what a gong show. i think we were all looped from sugar or something. i'm exhausted and tired and headachy.

now i feel totally confused. i don't know if i did the right thing. i want things to be good, to be interesting and to be cute and wonderful. where the hell did we go wrong.